Oh, You Like That? Songs to Induce Ovarian Explosion
[Disclaimer: Rock ‘n’ Roll Nomad is not responsible for any deli-scene outbursts or unforeseen January babies that may occur as a result of listening to this playlist. Operating motor vehicles simultaneously with this mix is also strongly discouraged.]
Now that that’s out of the way, here is my own curated playlist, which is sure to make you wetter than an otter’s pocket. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, ladies.
The Less I Know the Better – Tame Impala: Getting right into it with a tasty old bass line. If this tune doesn’t make you want to go on with your bad self, I’ve officially given up. Their signature, spacey vocals, and soft synths make me melt into the floor, but hey, I’m not complaining.
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| Great for: getting revenge on bad news dudes named Trevor. |
One of these Nights – The Eagles: Alright, if you follow me at all, you’re already aware that The Eagles can do no wrong in my eyes. And what’s that? Another delicious bass groove? Say it ain’t so. Don Henley’s vocals will always make me weak in the knees, and if I’m being honest, sometimes I listen to this track just to hear him call me ‘pretty mama.’ This tune was recorded long before Randy Meisner left the band, and his stellar falsetto penetrates my very soul. Lyrically, there is no beating around the bush on this one – this song is purely about knocking boots. In other words: tale as old as time.
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| Great for: finding out what turns on your lights. |
If You Want me to Stay – Sly & The Family Stone:If you’re a fan of mouth watering funk, you’re going to enjoy this next track. This stone cold tune chronicles Sly’s attempts to tell his lover, ‘number one’s gotta be number one’ – that, and a really tight rhythm section. Important to take care of the bottom end, guys.
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Great for: those times when you just need a good funk. |
Babe I’m Gonna Leave You – Led Zeppelin: While this song may be dangerous to ladies’ reproductive health, it’s a real credit to the evil powers of heartbreak and music. The song’s earliest origins can be traced back to Anne Bredon, but Zeppelin’s heavier adaptation possesses elements of melancholy that aren’t present in the Bredon or Baez versions. It also makes me think back on bad boy types that I’ve dated throughout the years, and I’m reminded of the appeal of a dude who’s just ‘gotta ramble.’
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Great for: chicks who don’t want a boyfriend in the summertime, anyway. |
Whipping Post- Allman Brothers Band: Spankin’ the plank at #1 of my top five is The Allman Brothers Band. Again, opening up with a big, fat bass line to get you warmed up. Berry Oakley, you’re a righteous dude. Gregg Allman’s vocals are gritty and tortured, reminding us that being tied to the whipping post is equal parts pleasure and anguish. Ovaries set to self-destruct in 3…2...1.
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Great for: those folks whose idea of a good time is actually being tied to a whipping post. |
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In reflection: a good bass line will probably get you laid.
Yours, groovily,
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