A Guide to Concert Etiquette and Not Being a Garbage Person

I’m not here to hold your hand or be anyone's mommy. If you're a grown adult, you should be capable of going to shows and not actin’ a fool. Should being the operative word here. Yet, time and time again, the same bad behaviour rears its ugly head at shows. Here are a few simple ways not to piss off your fellow concert-goers.

Once the show starts, we don’t often have the luxury of spatial freedom. That being said, it is not an excuse to be disrespectful of other people’s very limited space. By all means, dance, clap, hoot and holler...but don’t thrash about like some kind of wild animal. You will not make any friends.

Another thing to remember once the show has started: don’t push your way forward. Don’t do it. Maybe you just had to grab another beer or check out the merch. Either way, elbowing your way through the impenetrable wall that is a festival crowd is not going to score you any brownie points. You’re not getting to the front. That ship has sailed, man.

Getting back to the folks who obviously didn’t pay attention when Aretha literally spelled out R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Some people just don’t get it, and close quarters make it even worse. But what happens when the massive, Under Armour-clad bro steps on your girlfriend’s toes one too many times? Keep cool, dude. Fighting is lame, and your neighbours will probably hate you if you choose to get physical. Instead, tap that bro on his beefy shoulder and tell him to be more mindful.

Something else that has always gotten my goat is when folks insist on ruining the moment in attempts to form a mosh pit or crowd surf. Stop it. There's a time and place for these kinds of shenanigans, and spoiler alert: this psych/shoegaze set is not it. If you’re at a metal show, though, quit your bellyachin’ and get in there.

Something else that should go without saying, but, alas, bears repeating, has to do with alcohol consumption. Aside from the ungodly cost of a festival beer, there are a few other issues I have with drinking at shows. Namely, getting blitzed and behaving like a child. I’m in total agreeance that shows and bevvies go together like milk and honey, but just use discretion and don’t be an asshat.

Follow these rules of common courtesy, and maybe, just maybe you’ll emerge without having to answer to the hatred of your fellow concert-goers.

Until next time, stay groovy.

-A